Here's a list of all variations of the "God
Speaks" billboards.
The billboards are a simple black background with
white text. No fine print or sponsoring organization
is included.
Tell the kids I love them.
-God
Let's meet at my house Sunday
before the game. -God
C'mon over and bring the kids.
-God
What part of "Thou Shalt Not..."
didn't you understand? -God
We need to talk.
-God
Keep using my name in vain,
I'll make rush hour longer. -God
Loved the wedding,
invite me to the marriage. -God
That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing...
I meant it. -God
I love you and you
and you and you and... -God
Will the road you're on
get you to my place? -God
Follow me.
-God
Big bang theory,
you've got to be kidding. -God
My way is the highway.
-God
Need directions?
-God
You think it's hot here?
-God
Have you read my #1 best seller?
There will be a test. -God
Do you have any idea
where you're going? -God
(And a personal favorite...)
Don't make me come down there.
-God
These are actual clippings from church bulletins.
It's amazing what a
little proofreading could've prevented.
_________________
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be
speaking tonight at The
Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight
and hear Bertha Belch all
the way from Africa.
_________________
Don't forget the National PRAYER & FASTING
Conference. "The cost for
attending the Fasting and Prayer conference
includes meals."
_________________
Our youth basketball team is back in action
Wednesday at 8 PM in the school
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill
Christ the King.
_________________
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass
This Way Again," giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
_________________
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's
a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't
forget your husbands."
_________________
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at
the Fowlers'. Bring your
own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome!
Everyone come for a fun time.
_________________
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has
been canceled due to a
conflict.
_________________
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the
Water." The sermon tonight will
be: "Searching for Jesus."
_________________
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the
choir. They need all the help
they can get.
_________________
Barbara Jones remains in the hospital and needs
blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping
and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.
_________________
The Rector will preach his farewell message after
which the choir will sing
"Break Forth into Joy."
_________________
Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
_________________
Irving Benson and Jessica Carter were married on
October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school
days.
_________________
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will
follow.
_________________
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
_________________
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due
to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some
older ones.
_________________
The senior choir invites any member of the
congregation who enjoy sinning to
join the choir.
_________________
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and
other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
_________________
or those of you who have children and don't know
it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
_________________
Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person(s)
you want remembered.
_________________
Attend this meeting and you will hear an
excellent speaker and heave a
healthy lunch.
_________________
The church will host an evening of fine dining,
superb entertainment and
gracious hostility.
_________________
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M.-prayer and
medication to follow.
_________________
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing
of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
_________________
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at 10 AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the
B.S. is done.
_________________
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 8 PM, Please use the
back door.
_________________
The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the Church
basement on Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is
invited to attend this
tragedy.
_________________
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please
use the large double door at the side entrance.
_________________
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new
tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up
Yours."
